


Tea

by Hannahlouise23



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky on the run, Could be an insert if you squint, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Swearing, Nightmares, One Shot, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, They were neighbours, Unnamed Female Lead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 21:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18558298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannahlouise23/pseuds/Hannahlouise23
Summary: “Are… are you okay?”  She managed to stammer out.  He didn’t say anything. Didn’t so much as grunt in return.  Just stared. “See I live downstairs and I...I just… You… you were screaming.”  She elaborated. Still nothing from him. “Loud.” She emphasised, willing him to answer her.  He didn’t. “Sorry.” She suddenly looked to her feet and shook her head. “Sorry to bother.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where these Bucky ideas are coming from but they keep coming! This one is post WS, mentions of Bucky's nightmares but no descriptions. As always I'm constantly trying to improve my writing so any feedback in the comments is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!

Two weeks.  Two weeks ago her new neighbour had moved in upstairs.  And for two weeks she had been woken up every night by the banging coming from above her.  It was almost religious. 4am. She had come to expect it. But the screaming. The screaming was new.  She had never heard something so guttural. Almost feral. He’d been doing it for almost 20 minutes. It had started small.  Just a few grunts but then the sound had grown and grown. It was getting too much for her to bear. She couldn’t just lie there listening to him.  So she heaved a sigh and pulled herself out of bed, threw on a jacket and dragged herself up the stairs. He was still going when she got to his door.  She knocked lightly, scared of annoying the other neighbours, but he still continued, banging and screaming. So she knocked harder. Pounded even. And he stopped.  She waited a few moments and heard nothing. No screaming. No banging. But no sounds of movement either. So she knocked again. A few more moments of silence. Then she heard the shuffling of someone coming to the door.  A clicking of what was probably just a few too many locks and then the handle being pulled. The door swung open and her breath caught in her throat when she saw him. She wasn’t really sure how she had pictured him, but she was certain it wasn’t like this.  He had been sleeping in jogging pants and no shirt, but an open jacket somewhat covered him up. Not enough to hide his incredibly muscular chest though. If she had seen just his body she would have pegged him as someone who cared greatly about himself, but everything else contradicted that.  He was a mess. Dark shaggy hair that was tangled and uncared for fell across his face, which was covered in stubble that was clearly not intentional. His forehead was crinkled with permanent worry and the bags under his eyes told tales of years of sleepless nights. And his eyes. His eyes were piercing.  They saw right through her. She’d never felt more exposed. It was like he knew everything about her, every secret she’d ever had, in just one glance. Except he wasn’t just glancing. He was staring. Waiting for her to speak.

“Are… are you okay?”  She finally managed to stammer out.  He didn’t say anything. Didn’t so much as grunt in return.  Just stared. “See I live downstairs and I...I just… You… you were screaming.”  She elaborated. Still nothing from him. “Loud.” She emphasised, willing him to answer her.  He didn’t. “Sorry.” She suddenly looked to her feet and shook her head. “Sorry to bother.” She didn’t raise her head again, just headed straight to the stairs, back to her own apartment, muttering curses to herself.  What an idiot. Worrying about her mystery neighbour. He probably wasn’t even sleeping. Probably having sex with a beautiful woman and she just pounded on the door and interrupted them. She sighed to herself as she locked the door of her apartment and shuffled back to the bedroom.  At least the noise had stopped and she could go back to sleep. She had just settled down beneath the covers, just a few minutes after being upstairs, when there was a knock at her door. She grumbled a little, betting that it was one of her neighbours coming to complain that they had heard her voice at 4 in the morning.  So when she opened her door and saw  _ him  _ there she could only stare with her mouth slightly agape, like a fish.  He still didn’t say anything. Just stared her down. She didn’t know what to say.  She wondered if he had maybe come down to apologise but she gave him plenty of space and still no words came from his mouth.  So she said the only thing she could think of. “Would you like some tea?” She wasn’t sure why it had come to mind. Tea always helped her feel better when she’d had a nightmare, and she presumed that was why he was screaming.  Unless he’d just abandoned a beautiful woman in his apartment. Seemed unlikely. He still didn’t say anything. But he nodded curtly, accepting her offer. She took a step to the side, silently inviting him into her space. She almost instantly regretted it.  This is how murder stories start. Stupid young woman invites handsome mystery man into her home. She could see the headlines now. But it was too late. He squeezed himself past her, trying to keep as much space between them as possible. Probably trying not to touch her, didn’t want to give her any ideas that he might be interested.  She shut the door and trailed behind him. He stopped dead at the end of the hallway and she almost crashed into his back. “Take a seat.” She offered, indicating the sofa, but he went straight to the dining table. Right. She thought. Didn’t want to give her any ideas. She boiled the kettle and brewed the tea all in complete silence.  Just the clinking of the teaspoons. Definitely the start of a murder story. She chanced a look at him over her shoulder. He was just staring at the wall. His hand clenching and unclenching rhythmically. Probably still thinking about his nightmare. She decided it was best not to ask him about it. The light thud of the mug on the table brought his attention away from the wall.  He looked up to her and his lips curved in a small, polite smile. His way of saying ‘thank you’. She noted that it didn’t reach anywhere near his eyes. She settled in the chair across from him and brought her legs up underneath her. She took the mug in both her hands and let the warmth run though her body. Soon his eyes were back on the wall and his fist clenching again. But the longer they sat there the more his features relaxed.  They only sounds were the occasional slurping of her sipping the tea. He drank without a sound. They sat there in silence for almost twenty minutes. Her watching him and him watching the wall. So engrossed in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice her drinking in every detail of him. Or at least if he did notice her didn’t stop her. His face was familiar. But then maybe he just had one of those handsome faces that look familiar. He still only wore a jacket and she let her eyes roam over his torso.  She had never seen anyone with so many muscles. Maybe he screamed in his sleep because he was having nightmares about how hard he worked in the gym. She caught a few scars peaking out around his left shoulder and wondered what sort of accident could leave marks like that. Her eyes trailed down that arm, to the hand that held the mug of tea, and she instantly had to take a sip of tea to stop herself from gasping. There was only a dim lamp on but she was not mistaken. This guy had a metal hand. Probably a whole metal arm if she had to guess.  She was definitely dead. She tried her best to savour what was probably her last cup of tea and did her best to look anywhere but at him. When she had finished she set the mug back on the table and leaned back with a sigh. Seconds after she had done so he swept the mug away from her and set it on the counter next to the sink, turned to her and gave a curt nod, and then marched out the door. Well. She wasn’t going to get any more sleep after that. At least she was alive. His face though. She was sure she knew it. But the guy had a freakin’  _ metal arm _ .  She would definitely remember if she had met him before.  She pulled her phone from her jacket pocket and put in a quick search.  _ ‘Guy with metal arm.’ _ It was simplistic but it certainly got her results.  Thousands of reports on the Winter Soldier. Jesus Christ.  She pulled up one that detailed the attacks in Washington and the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D, which had only been a few months ago.  There were no real photos of him, just quick snaps from civilian camera phones, but enough to identify him. Jesus Christ. She had just served tea to a genetically altered assassin.  And the bastard hadn’t even bothered to wash up. 

* * *

 

4am.  Like clockwork.  The screaming came again tonight.  She let him scream for five minutes before her feet were carrying her out of the apartment.  Her brain was willing them to stop. To go back to bed. To not seek out the Winter Soldier. But her feet didn’t listen.  She pounded first time this time and the screaming stopped straight away. There was a shuffling straight away. And the locks clicking straight away.  Almost like he had been waiting for her to come to him. He took one look at her then turned to walk back into his apartment. He left the door open though.  She took that as an invitation to follow him. She stopped dead at the end of the hallway. There was nothing here. No sofa. No TV. Not even any boxes that he hadn’t unpacked.  But then she supposed a man on the run couldn’t pack his life up into boxes. She wondered if he even had a life at all. In this place he had nothing. Just a mattress in the middle of the room and a table with two chairs.  Convenient. She pulled up one of the seats as he brewed the tea this time. He was dressed the same as yesterday, but he had been more careless with the jacket, not covering himself up as much. He placed her mug down with his metal hand and she knew he caught her staring at it.  He didn’t say anything though. Though she supposed it would have shocked her more if he had spoken. Again they drank in complete silence. Well almost complete silence. After ten minutes she piped up. “It’s nice… to not be on your own after a nightmare.” He grunted in response.  In agreement. She smirked a little to herself. She had broken him. Gotten a response. Not something she should be proud of though. A response from the silent killer was probably a bad sign. Another ten minutes and they had both finished. This time she took his mug from him and made a point of washing up.  She turned to face him and offered a tight lipped smile. One which he returned. It still didn’t reach his eyes though.

* * *

3.50.  She hadn’t been awoken by screaming.  Or banging. She’d been awoken by a knock on her door.  She barely even had her eyes open when she pulled back the door and instinctively walked into the kitchen.  He followed her in. Wordlessly as always. As she set the kettle to boil he reached up to the cupboard and pulled down two mugs.  It stunned her a little. “Thank you.” She muttered out as she took them from him and brewed up. He had a little more modesty today, wearing a tshirt, but he hadn’t bothered to cover his arm.  Just a week and they had already reached that point. She held back a joke about feeling honoured. They settled at the table and she sat in the exact same way as always. He wasn’t staring at the wall though now.  He was staring at her. Well she at least deserved to ask a question in return. “So…” She stared. “Metal arm, huh?” She asked as if it was the most nonchalant thing in the world. “That’s rough.” She sipped her tea.

“You get used to it.”  He smirked at her a little and she cracked a genuine smile.  She had broken him. No more silence. Thank god. “You know about me?  Why do you still let me in?” He asked. She was taken aback a little by the light Eastern European accent.  Not what she had expected.

She didn't have to think before she answered.  “I know about the Winter Soldier.  I don’t think that’s you.” She offered.  She genuinely believed it too. She had read up a lot more since their first meeting.  News reports, history papers, conspiracy theories. This person in front of her was clearly not under Hydra’s control anymore.  Hydra agents don’t sit around with their neighbours drinking tea in the middle of the night. He smiled a little. She noticed it did reach his eyes.  But then a sadness took over them and he looked away. She didn’t say anything else. Scared she had pushed him too far. But then he spoke again. So quiet she almost didn’t hear him.  “Why do you do this?”

She thought about it for a moment.  Why did she do this? It was truly mad.  She didn’t know him at all. All she really knew about him is that he could kill her like she was little more than an annoying bug.  And yet she trusted him not to. Trusted that he would drink his tea, relax and then leave. Because he was in pain. She heard him scream and she couldn’t stand by and do nothing.  He needed someone to help him through. And she was stupid enough to let him in. “If you heard the screams that I hear, you couldn’t not help.” She reached across the table and took his hand in hers.  He flinched a little but didn’t pull away. “Even if it is just tea.” She sent him a small but genuine smile.

His eyes bore into hers and the sincerity in them almost made her well up.  This was a man who had not known kindness for many years. Who had been used as a weapon and nothing more.  Who’s screams had gone ignored for decades. And here he had someone who just wanted to make the pain go away.  “Thank you.” He whispered as he squeezed her hand gently.

* * *

 

It hadn’t taken long for the screaming to return.  The first time she had heard him again she didn’t even hesitate.  Jumped out of her own bed and ran up the stairs. She hadn’t stopped pounding on the door until he opened it.  He looked down at her and the pain in his eyes almost broke her heart. “Bad dream?” She asked. It was a stupid question, she knew he always had bad dreams.  But still he nodded his head and turned into his apartment. She followed him immediately and gently closed the door behind her. When she came into the main room she faltered a little when she saw him sat on the mattress instead of at the table.  He was staring at the wall again, wringing his hands together. She made some tea as quickly as she could and set his mug in front of him on the floor. She sank down on the mattress to his left and blew gently on her tea, waiting for him to speak.  He didn’t. He just stared and stared until tears began to prick in his eyes. She quickly set her mug down by his and reached out a hand to squeeze his shoulder. He visibly relaxed at her touch but the tears did not stop. As they spilled over she wrapped her arm around him a tugged a little.  It did not take much encouragement for him to lean down and rest his head on her shoulder. She rubbed his arm gently and ran a hand through his hair as he sobbed silently. She held back her own tears as she shushed him much like a mother soothes a child. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. It was just a dream.  They’re all just dreams.” He gripped her shirt in his fist as the tears soaked her shoulder. “It’s alright. You’re alright. I’m here now. You’re alright.” By the time he had stopped crying the tea had long gone cold. She lay him down and stayed by his side on the mattress, stroking his hair softly and occasionally whispering words of reassurance.  When she was certain he had fallen asleep she took the mugs and threw the cold tea down the drain, washed them silently and set them back where they belonged. She took one last glance at him on her way out and smiled sadly to herself, glad at least that he would get a few hours of peaceful sleep.

* * *

 

After that he had given her a key.  There had been a few nights where he had come to her first.  He’d asked her a lot about her life, about this new world, about things he should know about.  She hadn’t asked him anything. Fearful that she would trigger memories, or even worse ask him about something that he just couldn’t remember.  The more he came down the more she was sure that he would never do anything to hurt her. “I don’t do that anymore.” He had said to her one night.  Then the next night she heard screams more gut wrenching than any of the rest. She ran up and let herself in, he hadn’t even woken at the noise. He was still screaming when she came to his side.  Tears streamed down his face but he was still in a deep sleep. Tea wasn’t going to cut it this time. Suddenly she remembered her childhood. How she had comforted her little sister when she would have nightmares.  Almost instinctively she lay down on the mattress behind him. As soon as she was settled the screaming stopped. She reached and arm around him and took his hand in her own. His body immediately tensed up. “It’s okay.”  She soothed him. “It’s me. I’ll keep you safe.” She was acting on impulse, doing all this naturally. She had to be. If she had been thinking she would have known this was mad. She was spooning a dangerous assassin. And yet she continued to sooth him.  Squeezed him tight when he pressed his body up against hers. Even placed a chaste kiss at the base of his neck. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep. I’m here.” She encouraged him as she rubbed her thumb across his hand rhythmically. When she felt him fully relax and she thought he had fallen asleep she started to slip her hand from his.  He quickly clamped down and pulled her arm back tight around himself. “Stay.” He whispered. “Please.” He pulled her hand up to his face and placed a light kiss on her knuckles.

“I’m not going anywhere.”  She reassured him and pressed herself tight against his back.  

After that she had given him her key.  She would always wake up when she heard him coming but she didn’t move.  He would just slip into her bed and rest his head on her chest. Still half asleep she would stroke his hair and kiss his forehead and they would fall back asleep together.  After a while she started to wonder why they didn’t just start the night like that. But then that wasn’t how this relationship worked. 

* * *

1am.  It had been about a month since she had first knocked on his door.  She was just settling down for bed when she heard a knock at the door.  Odd. She wondered who could be knocking at this time. When she pulled the door back her breath caught in her throat.  It was him. But he hadn’t been having nightmares. He was fully dressed. Jeans, jacket, baseball cap and a backpack over his shoulders.  He looked sadder than she had ever seen him and that broke her heart. Something was up, she knew. “Hey.” It was all she could find to say.  

“Hey.”  He gave her one of his tight lipped smiles.  There was silence for a few seconds. “They know where I am.   I have to go.” She just nodded dumbly. She knew there were people after him and that he wasn’t going to be able to stay with her forever.  But she hadn’t prepared herself for it. It felt like a punch in the gut. He held up her key. “Here.” 

“No you keep it.”  She pushed it back to him.  “You might need it someday.” She smiled softly.

He put it back in his pocket and smiled at her.  It reached his eyes tonight. He took a step forward and wrapped her up in a tight embrace.  She buried her head in his shoulder, trying her best to hold back the tears that threatened to spill.  “Thank you.” He whispered in her ear. He stepped back and looked deep into her eyes, gave her a curt nod and turned on his heel.

“Hey, wait!”  She stopped him and ran back into her apartment, quickly grabbing a pen and paper and scribbling down her phone number.  She came back out to the hallway, took his hand and pressed the scrap into his palm. “Those nightmares come back you call me straight away, y’hear?”  She squeezed his hand tight. “I’ll always be there.” He reached up a gentle hand and brushed some stray hair behind her ear. Before she had time to react he leaned down and captured her lips.  It was gentle, chaste, and all too short for her. She tried to pull him back for more but he only gave her one more peck before he stood to his full height. “In another life doll.” He smirked at her and she nodded in understanding.  He turned and headed down the stairs, looking over his shoulder to take one last look at her. Tears filled her eyes and she spoke her last words to him. “Be safe.” He just nodded and continued down to the front door. She leaned over the rail and watched him go down the stairs, her eyes never leaving him until he was out the door.  Gone into the night. And she let the tears spill over. She cried silently and turned to head back into her apartment. She made her way into the kitchen and did the only thing she could think of that might help. She made some tea. 


	2. Another Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ask and ye shall receive...

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since she had watched him disappear into the night. And yet she still woke up a 4am. Like clockwork. Expecting him to come crawling into bed with her. But of course he didn't. He never would again. He was gone. She told herself that every day. But she was yet to make herself believe it. She sighed and rolled over, reaching out for her phone in the darkness. He would probably never call either. But she would never believe that one. She would go on holding out hope that one day she was going to hear his voice again. She quickly typed in the search she did every night. " _Bucky Barnes."_  Bringing up the articles that she had already read dozens of times. Her favourite was the Smithonsion's web page about Captain America and The Howling Commandos. There she would always find solace in the accounts and mementos of his time in the army. A small smile ghosted her face as his photo loaded. He looked just to the side of the camera, a cheeky smirk on his lips, hat sat slightly askew covering his clean cut. That was her favourite part; his short, neatly groomed hair and freshly shaved face. She often wondered what he would have been like back before the war. Surely he wasn't like the melancholy man who had sat in her kitchen. No, the smirk on his face and the glint in his eye told tales of a cheeky young man who liked to go out dancing and flirt with all the girls. She wished she could have known that man. She closed down her browser with a sigh and pulled herself out of bed, heading to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea and start her day.

* * *

 About a month after that, filled with many an early morning searching his name and praying for new articles to show up, just anything, a little bit of news about where he might be now, she had the bright idea to set up a search alert for "The Winter Soldier". That way any articles, anything at all, that even briefly mentioned him would be sent straight to her inbox. It didn't really produce the results she was hoping for though. About once a month or so she would get a notification and her heart would soar, only to drop again when she saw it was just another conspiracy article or history paper. But then one day, it wasn't.

* * *

 

Just as she was coming up the stairs to her apartment, about a year after she had set up the alert, her phone pinged off with a notification. And then another. And another and another. Twenty of them in total. She quickly fished her phone from her bag and almost dropped it when she saw the reoccuring headline. Taking the rest of the stairs two at a time she bustled into her apartment and ran straight to the tv. She didn't even have to change the channel, they all showed 'breaking news'. Across the bottom of the screen the headline rolled across:  _United Nations Complex Bombed._ Her heart almost stopped when the news anchor cut to the CCTV footage The picture was grainy and the angle was awkward but she would know that face anywhere. That was the man who's screams had kept her up at night, who had cried himself to sleep in her arms, who had curled himself up against her for comfort from his horrible nightmares. And here was the newscaster identifying him as a suspect in a terrorist attack. She almost collapsed. Sinking down onto the sofa she watched the news reel play out but she didn't really take in what was being said. Her mind was running at a mile a minute. It couldn't possibly have been him. There was no way. He didn't do that anymore, he had told her so himself. Unless. Unless  _they_  had gotten him again. She couldn't bear the thought. She didn't sleep that night.

* * *

 It was just a few days later when she got another wave of alerts. All the articles accompanied by the same shaky body-cam footage of a police officer. Bucky being forced to the floor, surrounded by officers pointing their guns at him despite the fact he showed no signs of resisting. And by his side Captain America stood tall and proud, also being handcuffed. That sparked a flame of hope in her heart. If Captain America was standing by his side then that meant he hadn't done it. He was innocent. They hadn't brainwashed him again, it was all just a misunderstanding and they were sure to let him go. Of course she couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

 Her next alert was that they had gone missing, Bucky and Steve Rogers, and the article that accompanied the news detailed how the Winter Soldier had broken out of his cell and fought his way out of the government building, mindlessly attacking CIA operatives and civilians alike. She cried herself to sleep that night.

* * *

She didn't have to wait long for the next update. As she was on the bus home from work the next day her alerts started going crazy. One click of a notification took her to a video that was quickly going viral. She dug her headphones from her bag and plugged in to watch Tony Stark, in a battered Iron Man suit, explaining what had happened in an airport in Germany, describing how there had been a huge fight between the fractured Avengers, confirming to the press that Captain America and The Winter Soldier had gotten away and that no one knew where they had gone. She only got one more alert after that. About Captain America. He had been declared a traitor and enemy of the United States of America. Anyone who even had an inkling into where he might be was to report it to the authorities immediately. Of course, no one did. No one heard anything of Steve Rogers for two years. By that point she had more than given up hearing anything about Bucky. She had almost completely forgotten that she had made the alert.

* * *

 

She had been making a cup of tea when her phone pinged off. She sighed and made her way back towards the sofa where she had left it. Rubbing a hand to her stomach, that suddenly felt queasy, she leaned over the back of the cushions to grab her phone. Her head span a little when she stood back upright so she gripped the back of the sofa as she started to read the lit up screen. But she only managed to make out the words " _Captain America"_  before her vision started going a little fuzzy. She shook her head and blinked her eyes a few times but before she could look down at the screen again her legs gave way beneath her and everything faded to black.

* * *

She awoke with a jolt and snapped her eyes open. It took a second for her to register that she was lead on the floor behind the sofa and a moment more to piece together what had happened. She must have passed out. Which was weird because she hadn't passed out since she was in high school. And she remembered feeling perfectly fine when she was in the kitchen. Groaning she pushed herself up onto her knees and searched around for her phone. Finally she found it just peeking out underneath the sofa but when she went to switch on the screen it flashed that it was out of battery. Cursing under her breath, she pulled herself up off the floor and headed to her room to plug it in. While she waited for it to boot up she went back to the kitchen to retrieve the tea that she remembered making before collapsing. But when she got to the counter she found it wasn't there. Weird. Maybe she hadn't made one after all. Quickly she brewed up again and then headed back to the bedroom. Blowing on the drink softly to cool it down she picked up her phone which was now charged to 5%. She grumbled to herself as she saw the date and time displayed.  _17th March 2023._ Her phone had a tendency to mess with the date and time when it rebooted, but normally it went back to something like 2007. Just as she was about to open the settings she was inundated with alerts and notifications. Calls, texts, messages, news articles. Weird. She never normally had that many texts from her mom. Finally the ringing of the notification bell stopped and she almost dropped her tea when she saw what the top one read. It was an interview with Steve.  _Captain America: "Why we still need support groups" ._  The title didn't matter to her though. What mattered was the date it was written.  _24th February 2023._ The one below that was dated January 2023. And before that a call from her mom on Christmas Day 2022. Her hand shook a little as she pressed the call button. It rang so much that she worried it may go to voicemail but eventually someone picked up. They didn't say anything though, so she started. "Mom?" She almost whispered.

Instantly she heard the woman on the other end of the phone break down in tears. "Baby!" She cried.

"Mom are you okay?" She didn't get an answer, only more crying. "What's wrong? I spoke to you three days ago?"

"Sweetheart," Her mother managed to push through the tears. "It's been five years."

"Five years?" She repeated in a whisper.

"Oh my god, baby." Her mother sobbed again. "I can't believe you're okay."

"Ma, what happened to me?" She finally managed to ask. She didn't understand much of her mom's sob riddled explanation but she managed to piece together the fact that it wasn't just her, it was half the world. They had all just disappeared with no warning and no pattern. Just half the population randomly vanished. And now it seemed that just as suddenly they were back. Exactly where they were five years ago, as if nothing had happened to them. But the rest of the world had moved on five years without them. Her parents were five years older, her sister's toddler was now a seven year old, her young cousin who was in high school was now 22 and married. But she was exactly the same as she remembered being, in exactly the same apartment. Her mom had explained that they had tried to clear it out, two years after "the snap", as she kept calling it, but they hadn't had the heart to throw out her things. The world had changed and no one had asked for rent, so they had left it, just in case, her mom kept saying. Well she supposed her mother was always right. As her mom started sobbing again, she just stared blankly at the wall, trying to process everything she was being told. "Ma," She interrupted. "I'm going to have to go, I need some time to think. I promise I'll call you again soon, okay?"

"Okay sweetheart." Her mom tearfully agreed. "I love you."

"I love you too." She echoed as she hung up the call. She didn't just need time to think, she needed a drink. Lucky for her the apartment had been left truly untouched and she found a half full bottle of vodka in the cupboard. Grabbing that and a glass she went back into her room and booted up her laptop, searching out every conceivable article about 'the snap' to figure out what had happened. A couple of hours and many more glasses of vodka later she finally felt like she had enough of an understanding of what had happened. She'd gone through dozens of articles and hundreds of social media posts, and she'd finally stopped when she'd found her own name on a memorial page. She'd decided that a vague understanding was more than enough, she didn't need to know exactly what had happened and she definitely didn't need to understand how she had gotten back. What she really needed was to go to sleep. After all the alcohol she had consumed it was more like passing out. She surprised even herself then when she woke up in the middle of the night because she heard her front door being unlocked. It did still take her a little while to physically respond though, roughly rubbing her eyes and slowly prying herself up off the mattress. Maybe her mom had been wrong, maybe her apartment had been let out to someone else. Or maybe there had been someone just using it in her absence. But then when she listened harder whoever had let themselves in was definitely trying their hardest to not be heard. As she tried to stay steady on her feet she managed to follow the sound of their footsteps into the kitchen. Reaching into the closet she found the baseball bat she recalled leaving there for emergencies like this and slowly crept out of her bedroom. She soon spotted the shadowy figure, softly illuminated by the moonlight streaking through the curtains, in her kitchen. She didn't even stop to think why an intruder would be busying about at the kitchen counter before she rose the bat and readied herself to strike. Just as she got close enough to swing out at him he reached up to the cupboard and she saw a metal glint reflect from his hand. Instantly she released the bat and let it clatter to the floor, almost causing the intruder to drop the mug he was holding as he turned to face her. Her heart stopped as she saw the shadows of a face she thought she would never see again. "Bucky." She managed to sigh out in a whisper.

He gave her a shy grin at being caught in her kitchen. "Hey doll."

"Oh my god Bucky." She sobbed as she burst out into tears and ran forward to embrace him. As she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck all the emotions of the day came to a head. He soothed her, softly cooing in her ear and stroking gently up and down her back, as she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Finally, when she had no more tears left to cry, she pulled back and took his face in her hands. He looked so much better than he had when she had known him those short years ago. His hair was still long but now it was neat and cared for, his beard was intentional and grown in, and his blue eyes, which had once been sullen and dull, now sparkled with new life. But as she slowly and deliberately took in all his features she noticed that, like her, he had not aged five years, as he should have done. "You look the same." She observed in a whisper.

"So do you." He spoke just as quietly as she did as he brushed a lock of hair away from her face. They didn't say anymore, they both understood without explanation. She briefly wondered if it was better that way, that they were both blissfully ignorant. At least they hadn't had to deal with the fallout of half the population disappearing. But those were not the thoughts for right now. Right now Bucky was here with her, back in her apartment, comforting her this time. "You never called." It was a statement more than an accusation.

"I stopped having nightmares." He explained as his lips quirked in the ghost of a smile. He was still holding her close in his arms with a hand cupping her cheek. Neither made a move to step away from the other.

"I guess you don't need any tea then." She was still whispering. Almost as if she feared that none of this was real and that speaking too loud would ruin the spell.

"Well it would be a shame to waste the kettle I just boiled." He gave her a small grin and she beamed up at him. Neither of them made any move to break their embrace though. They just stayed there in each others arms, soaking up the moment. Hearts beating faster with every passing second. Occasionally she glanced at his lips but she stopped herself from making a move, too afraid that he hadn't come for that reason, too scared to mess up this perfect moment. But then when he did finally try to turn back towards the counter she threw caution to the wind. Placing a hand on his cheek, bringing his attention back to her, she raised herself up on her toes. He sighed, as if he had been waiting for her to do that since he arrived, and swooped down to capture her lips with his own. This kiss was nothing like their first one. That had been chaste, sweet and all too short. This was the kind of all consuming, passionate kiss that made time stop and the world come to a stand still. When they finally broke apart, he rested his forehead against hers and huffed a small laugh of disbelief. "I've been waiting to do that since the day I left." She giggled softly and pushed herself up on her tiptoes to steal another peck. "I should finish making that tea." He suggested. She just nodded and bit her lip, waiting for him to step away first. She sighed softly when he did, but he didn't go far, only turned back to face the counter. She soon stepped up beside him and together, in silence, they made tea. Fingers occasionally brushing when they reached out for the same thing at the same time, they just both let out a nervous giggle and quickly retracted their hands. In silence they picked up their mugs and moved to the sofa, settling in with their bodies facing in towards each other. In silence they both blew on their mugs to cool the tea and waited for the other to say something. Finally, she broke the silence.

"You came back." She almost whispered, but it was loud enough for him to hear.

"I've been wanting to come back ever since the day I left." He sent her a soft smile that made her heart pound wildly. "The moment I walked out that door I made a promise to myself that I would come back as soon as I could. I just wish it hadn't taken so long."

She reached out to him and placed a gentle hand on his arm, squeezing softly. "I'm just glad you came back at all. I thought I'd never see you again." She quietly admitted.

They just looked at each other for a quiet moment, sharing a small smile, her thumb rubbing small circles on his arm. He looked down at it and then looked away and her heart pounded faster as she could see that he was looking for the right words to say something. "Doll, I can't stay." He finally spat out.

"Oh." Her thumb stopped and her heart dropped. Of course, he was just dropping in for one last goodbye. To get a last kiss and some closure before running off to save the world. She had been stupid to expect anything else.

"I have to go back to New York." He went on to explain and she fought to hold back the tears. "But," He quickly went on. "If you wanted you could always…" He trailed off, fearing he was being too bold. But her face split into a wide grin that quickly told him he was just bold enough.

"Well I don't think I have anything else going on!" She beamed and laughed, squeezing his arm once again.

"So you'll come with me?" His grin matched hers.

"Of course I will!"

"Are you sure? Because…" He tried to backtrack a little but she cut in.

"Bucky, apparently I disappeared for five years, I doubt I can just drop back into my old life! And besides if nothing else it proves that life's too short. So let's go to New York!" She laughed all through her explanation.

Her laughter was infectious and Bucky soon found himself chuckling too. "Well slow down doll. We don't have to take the plane til morning."

"Well if you don't have nightmares anymore you won't need me to cuddle you." She smirked a little.

"Nah, but I wouldn't mind you snuggling me all the same." He cheekily replied.

She smiled at him over her tea and quickly knocked back the last of it before standing up and holding her hand out to him.

As he climbed into bed beside her it all felt so natural, like no time had passed between them, it was just as it had been. Except this time he wasn't sneaking in whilst she was half asleep. He settled in beside her as she smiled up to him and they whispered goodnights over and over to each other as they snuggled and kissed and fell asleep in each others arms.

* * *

She could barely contain her excitement the next morning as she threw all her stuff into a duffle bag and quickly called her mom to explain what was going on. If she had thought she had been excited about going to New York she was even more excited by the fact they would be travelling there on a private jet. The flight was cushy and relaxing and everything a private flight should be. If this was what life with an Avenger would be like she certainly wouldn't complain. While they were in the air Bucky explained everything he could about what had happened, not that he understood much about it himself, but he tried. She understood as much as she could but it sounded incredibly complicated, and though she let him talk to get it all out of his system, she settled for not truly understanding but being incredibly grateful for the Avengers and those who had fought with them. She had nodded off for most of the rest of the flight and Bucky woke her softly when they were settled on the tarmac. When she stepped out of the plane she was surprised to see that they were actually miles away from the terminal building, just beside a small hanger not far from the runway. She supposed Avengers didn't have to bother with airport security. She was even more stunned when Bucky came up behind her and pointed out a motorcycle at the bottom of the stairs. "There's our ride." He said as he pushed on the small of her back encouraging her to move forward.

"You're joking right?" She scoffed.

"Never been on a bike before?" He grinned down at her and she silently shook her head. "Do you trust me?" He went on. It only took her a second to think before she wordlessly nodded and returned his grin. Soon she was settled behind him with her duffle bag across her back and a helmet secured firmly on her head. "Hold on tight doll." He called over his shoulder as he revved up the engine. She giggled to herself as she wrapped her arms around him, her grip a little loose at first but as soon as he kicked off and sped down the tarmac she squeezed him so hard he almost couldn't breath. She screamed as she buried her head down against his back and she could feel him chuckling at her. Instinctively she had clamped her eyes shut but she soon relaxed just a little and managed to pry them open to watch the scenery as the drove by. She still kept her cheek pressed firmly against his back though. He hadn't told her where in New York they were going but as they headed down the highway away from the city she figured it was some place remote and upstate. It took them less than an hour to arrive at a log cabin on the lakefront. Down by the water she could see some sort of science camp set up and someone who she was almost sure was the Hulk tapping away at a computer. She swung off the bike without taking her eyes off the big green man and wordlessly dropped her bag and helmet to the floor.

"Looks like we're just in time." Bucky said to her as he reached down to take her hand and led her towards the water. She just silently followed, clueless as to what they were in time for. They stopped a little way from the camp, next to another man that she vaguely recognised, who stood with his arms crossed watching the Hulk working.

"I didn't think you'd make it." He spoke without looking at them.

"I said I'd be here." Bucky answered him, a little tensely. She read the mood and stay quiet, save for when the other man leaned around Bucky and introduced himself as Sam Wilson, she had squeaked a greeting and just about managed to remember her own name. The three of them just stood in silence for a little while and she could that there was something going on. She had her eyes fixed on the Hulk working, soon spotting the blond man flitting around too. "Oh my god, is that Captain America?" She has whispered to Bucky when she caught a glimpse of his face.

"Nah, that's just Stevie." Bucky had whispered back to her with a light grin on his face.

She wasn't sure how long they had stood watching in silence, but she registered that the sun was getting lower and lower in the sky. Eventually Captain America approached the trio and Sam stepped away from her and Bucky to meet him. She watched on as they exchanged a few words and a tight hug. And then he came over to them. Her heart jumped to her throat as he addressed her with a "ma'am" and her cheeks flamed red when she had returned with a "Captain". He just chuckled at her a little before he turned to Bucky.

"Don't do anything stupid until I come back." He grinned softly at him and she could tell there was some inside joke.

"How can I?" Bucky responded. "You're taking all the stupid with you." She watched on as they smiled at each other with a sadness in their eyes and soon Steve pulled Bucky in for a fierce hug. When Bucky stepped back she quickly stepped up next to him and linked her arm with his in a show of comfort.

"Ma'am." Steve now addressed her. "Will you make sure you look after this punk for me?"

Her face split into a grin as she remembered the articles she had read about the pair's deep friendship before the war. She looked up to Bucky and then back to Steve before she gave her answer. "Til the end of the line, Captain." She offered with a little salute. Steve grinned as he returned her salute and then without another word turned and headed off towards some sort of platform. When she looked back up to Bucky she found him grinning down at her, but if she looked close enough she was sure she could see a few tears behind his eyes. They heard the Hulk count down and watched as Steve disappeared. As soon as he was gone she felt Bucky trying to tug her away. "Should we not…?" She trailed off as she tried to ask, but he just shook his head a little.

"Nah, he'll be back soon enough."

When she looked back out to the water she spotted and elderly man sat on a bench looking out across the lake. She was sure he hadn't been there before. But before she had too much time to dwell on it Bucky took her hand and tugged her away again. She followed him this time, off in the opposite direction, down towards a little pier.

"So what now?" She asked as they got towards the water. "You run around saving the world and I sit at home waiting for you to come back?"

"I don't know." He sighed as he turned to face her, pulling her close to him and looping his arms around her waist. "The world's a different place now. I don't know when they'll need me."

She reached her hands up and rested them on her shoulders. "Well you just make sure you tell me when you're coming home and I'll have the tea ready." She grinned up at him. He sighed softly as he leaned down to kiss her gently. She melted into him and moved her hands up to tangle in his hair. This was a kiss that was full of love and promise. Neither of them were sure how long they stayed linked together like that but when she did pull away it was all too soon for him and he groaned as he tried to chase her lips. She giggled at him and his eyes fluttered open as she twisted a strand of his long hair around her fingers. She bit her bottom lip and he could see that she was looking to ask him a question. "Hey Buck, how would you feel about cutting your hair?" She smiled gingerly.

"For you doll?" He grinned with a raised eyebrow. "Anything."


End file.
